Stupid Instructions
+ Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
+ Bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
+ Swanson frozen dinners:
Defrost.
+ Shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
+ Package of a Rowenta Iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
+ Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
+ Dial soap:
Use like regular soap.
+ Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
+ Japanese-made food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
+ Swedish-made chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
+ Sainsbury's Peanuts:
Contains nuts.
+ American Airlines bag of nuts:
Open packet, eat nuts.
Sources
Scarrott.org.uk