Sarcasm For Stupid People

01. "Did you see that?!" - No, smart ass, I paid $10 to come to the theater and stare at the floor.
02. "Were you watching where you're going?!" - No, my eyes were closed while I was driving.
03. "Are you gonna eat that?" - No, I'm going to leave it and let it grow molds.
04. "Guess what?" - I can't. I don't have ESP.
05. "Why didn't you tell me you were busy?" - 'Cause I was obviously busy.
06. "Can I ask you a question?" - Didn't give me a choice there, did you?
07. "Are we there yet?" - If we are, I'd be parked by now.
08. "Oh did you want some?" - No, that's why I asked you if I can.
09. "Don't you wish vacation was longer??" - Don't you wish you wouldn't have WASTED that vacation?
10. "What's gonna happen?" - Now HOW do you expect me to know that?
11. "What are you watching?" - Would there be a difference even if I tell you?
12. "What time is it?" - It's time for you to get a watch.
13. "Will you give me some advice?" - I doubt you would wanna follow me.
14. "Aren't you going to help?" - No, because I would've helped out already.
15. "Don't you think it's hot??" - No, smart one, I thought it was summer.